Why It’s So Hard to Start Exercising (and How to Make It Easier in Midlife)

We all know exercise makes us feel better.
Better mood, better sleep, better energy, better everything.

Yet… when the time comes to actually move?
It’s suddenly the hardest thing in the world.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just get myself to do it?” — especially during perimenopause or menopause — you’re not broken. You’re human. And your brain is doing exactly what it’s designed to do.

Here’s what behavior science says about why starting feels so hard — and how to make it easier (and actually enjoyable).

1️⃣ Understand the Motivation Gap

Your brain is wired to seek immediate comfort and avoid discomfort.
So even though you know you’ll feel better after a workout, your brain focuses on the before: the effort, the sweat, the time, the shoes across the room.

The anticipation often feels worse than the activity itself.

📌 Try this: Instead of waiting to feel motivated, remind yourself:

“I’ll feel better once I start.”

Once you begin moving — even for two minutes — brain chemistry shifts. Endorphins and dopamine kick in, and momentum builds naturally.

2️⃣ Shrink the Barrier

Decision fatigue is real — especially for women in midlife balancing work, family, and a body that feels different than it used to.

Every time you ask, “Do I feel like exercising today?” you’re setting up another internal debate — and your tired brain will almost always vote no.

📌 Try this:

• Schedule exercise like a non-negotiable meeting with yourself.

• Lay out your clothes or shoes the night before.

• Decide when and what you’ll do ahead of time — remove all decision-making from the moment.

When there’s no debate, there’s less resistance.

3️⃣ Use Action to Spark Motivation

We often think motivation comes before action.
Science says the opposite.

Motivation is the result of taking action — not the prerequisite.

Once you start moving, even for five minutes, your mood, confidence, and energy start to shift. That small success fuels the next one.

📌 Try this:
Tell yourself you only have to start.
Walk for five minutes. Do ten squats. Roll out your mat and stretch.
You’ll almost always keep going — because doing creates the desire to do more.

4️⃣ Anchor to Enjoyment

Research shows that people who actually enjoy their workouts are the ones who stick with them long-term.

So if you’re forcing yourself to run when you hate running — or dragging yourself through a class you dread — it’s no wonder your motivation tanks.

📌 Try this:

• Pick movement that makes you feel good, not punished.

• Think outside the box — dancing in your kitchen, swimming, hiking, yoga, lifting weights, even gardening count.

• Focus on how you feel after — energized, clear, strong — not how you look during.

When movement feels like freedom, not obligation, your brain starts craving it.

The Bottom Line

Starting is the hardest part — but it’s also the part that matters most.

You don’t need a perfect plan, a gym membership, or an hour of free time.
You just need one small action to remind your brain:

“I can do this.”

Every step counts. Every bit of movement is a signal to your future self — the one who wants to be chasing grandkids, hiking mountains, or walking the Great Wall at 80 — that you’re investing in her today.

✨ Start small. Start now. Start for you.

📚 References

1. Williams DM, et al. Psychol Sport Exerc. 2008;9(3):231-245.

2. Kwasnicka D, et al. Health Psychol Rev. 2016;10(3):277-296.

3. Rhodes RE, Kates A. Ann Behav Med. 2015;49(5):715-731.